101 ways to annoy people

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

GREEN

Green is so important
Because we see it all around
It’s up very high on the trees
And on the grass that is on the ground

Green is the colour of
The plants that grow in the south
It’s also the colour of a Brussels sprout
That I refuse to put in my mouth

Green is on the traffic light
When the cars can go
All the green disappears
When it starts to snow

The most important thing about the colour green
Is because of my mother
NO she is not green
It’s her favourite colour!

L.O.V.E

When darkness falls and were apart
Can love heal this lonely heart
I love you dearly that I do
Sleep is good when dreaming of you
With all my love I give to you
You are so sweet I know not how I'm with you

Read the first word of every line hahahahaha! weeeeeee~

Saying Goodbye

I feel the time is getting close,
When we will have to part.
I'll show that I'll miss you,
With last words from my heart.

We must be dreaming,
For it has gone to fast.
The time we have spent together,
Will soon be in our past.

I'll forget this day is coming,
Today I stand here.
Trying to tell you,
How much I really care.

We'll go our separate ways,
And I'll make it if I try.
Just hold on to our memories,
Say Never, Say Goodbye!!!

Does your love belong to me?

You tell me you love me,
You tell me you care,
You say you need to have me,
But all I can do is stare.

You treated me with hate,
You told me a lot of lies,
For me it may be to late,
For my eyes are full of despise.

I am trying to let it go,
Trying to deal with it all,
My love is hard to show,
When it’s him that you may call.

You say you’ve learned a lot,
You say you know you were wrong,
Don’t let me put you on the spot,
Does your love to me belong?

My feelings you tried to taunt,
Our life you left in tatters.
Our family is what I want,
Our family is all that matters.

Just give to me your heart,
I promise I will not break,
Forgiveness is a start,
Something that must not wait.

Now give to me a shot,
To make us happiest of all,
Cause I will give you all I’ve got,
My love for you shall not fall.

Dont be sad when i Die

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I’m not there to comfort you,
please know that I still love you,
cause I know you love me too.

When tomorrow starts without me,
and you feel lost and blue,
I hope these words I’ve written
will help to see you through.

Someday your pain will ease,
sadness replaced by fond memories
Come tomorrow you will hear
I love you whispered on the breeze.

When tomorrow starts without me
cause God has called me home
I turn, blowing a kiss for thee
Sad that you may feel alone.

I will miss you tomorrow
as I take one last glimpse
a tear falls from my cheek
I’ll be going home.

And tomorrow will start without me.

Unheard Voice

Nine months are slowly getting close,
I am surrounded by the blanket of yours;
Slowly I am growing in your womb,
Please don’t send me to the tomb;
Oh mother, can’t you hear my voice?
Don’t you have another choice?

Aren’t you happy? You can see me soon,
I am excited to see the world of sun and moon;
In your womb, I am counting days,
To show you mother, my little gaze;
Oh mother, can’t you hear my voice?
Don’t you have another choice?

Mother, I am excited for my first toy,
I promise I will become your joy;
Please don’t feel me as a burden,
Whatever you decide cannot be undone;
Oh mother, can’t you hear my voice?
Don’t you have another choice?

I know you are waiting to see me play,
More than you I am excited to see that day;
Oh mother, won’t you start my life story,
Please don’t make my life a history;
Oh mother, can’t you hear my voice?
Don’t you have another choice?

I am excited to play in your lap,
With my deeds, I will make you clap;
Oh mother, give me a chance to live,
Even if you don’t, I will forgive;
Oh mother, my life is now a question,
Please don’t give it name of abortion.

For my Grandpa (Aping Benedict Batua 31.12.27 - 20.11.10)

I know we are all feeling a little bit sad,
That we've lost our Grandpa

Together we have cried an ocean of tears
As we feel so empty and hold many fears

But Grandpa would want us to know he's in a good place
And that he watching us all with a smile on his face
As we have made him so proud, as proud as can be
That he has raised such a beautiful and special family

Thinking back now I really must say
I feel lucky and privileged to have known Grandpa to this day
For in my life, you have played a special part
The memories I will treasure and keep close to your heart

For me I am glad my sister's little babies he got to meet
And for all of us, be grateful, his life is now complete
To each one of us he has loved and cared
And a family, be thankful for the good times we shared

Although he has gone we will always be together
And his spirit will live on each one of us forever
When you look to the sky, look for the brightest star
As that will be Grandpa looking down on us from afar

And now I would like to thank the good Lord above
For blessing us with our Grandpa with his kindness and love
Dear God, if it is not too much fuss
Take extra special care of our Grandpa as he is very dear to us

Grandpa if you are listening say a prayer for us every day
Be sure to protect us and guide us on our way
We know when God called you, you had to go
But we want you to know Grandpa we miss you and love you so.

A view of a cat

I
                               sleep      on
                             your bed, making
                             it my own, and 
                              and when you are
                                away, I’m at home
                                all alone. I walk
                             around the food
                          bowl, sniffing out
                        what’s there, and  if
                      there’s nothing good, I 
                    I look at you and stare. I 
                  curl up near the fire place
                warming up my paws, I
               pounce upon the scratch
              post, sharpening my claws.
              I see a mouse in front
              staring straight at me, I
               run and try to catch it
                but it runs away from
                  thee. You see I am so
                    cute, so gorgeous with my
                         fur, when
                          you
                           stroke
                               my 
                             head
                               I
                           close my
                         eyes
                 and purr. 

Cruelty of the chained Dog

I wish that I was told what I've done wrong,
Why must I be chained up and left alone so very long?
They seemed so glad to have me when I was growing up.
There were so many things we'd do when I was just a pup.
The master sad he'd train me as a companion and a friend.
The mistress said she'd never fear to be alone again.
The children said they'd feed me and they did if I would only stay.
But now the master says "No Time."
The mistress says I shed.
She doesn't want me in the house not even to be fed.
The children said they'd walk me, now they say "Not Now."
I wish I could tell them how I really felt.